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Friday, November 30, 2012

hi i'm awkward

i'm awkward
no skirting around it

it doesn't matter where i am or who i'm with, awkward things always happen to me
luckily i know how to laugh at myself so it's not a big deal

here's an awkward story from a few years ago to tell you, before i get into today's awkward story:
a few halloweens ago i had a lot of candy
i had so much candy that i was on what some people call "a sugar high"
that being said, my friends and i were about to leave our trick or treating madness and go to a haunted trail walk type thing
before we headed out, we made a pit stop at the bathrooms
i went to the bathroom like any normal human being, but i didn't make it out as a normal human being
 i walked out with the longest trail of toilet paper stuck to the bottom of my shoe 
if i had noticed that i was trailing a piece of toilet paper on my shoe right when i walked out of the bathroom, i wouldn't be telling you this story today because it wouldn't have been that awkward
but i continued to strut my stuff back to where my friends were waiting 
as soon as my friends saw me they started dying laughing, but i was so oblivious to what they were laughing at
then one of them screamed "CHLOE YOUR SHOE"
i was then humiliated 
i tried scraping the toilet paper off my shoe, but it wouldn't budge. i had to take my shoe off and scratch it along the sidewalk until that darn piece of toilet paper came off.
all of this happened not only in front of my friends, but also in front of the millions of other kids trick or treating in the neighborhood

i'm also really good at taking awkward selfies
like i should win an award for it
i'm a snapchatting fiend

alright now on to todays story: 

as you might have read in my "i put the pro in procrastination" post, i have been very lazy with my outfits. i have been wearing leggings non stop, and i don't care. that being said, i do care what other people think. so i've come up with a genius plan. i wear my leggings out in public, and then i add running shoes along with the outfit so i appear as if i had just previously worked out.
i'm a genius i know! 
so today my mom and i went to target because i had to pick up a few items to make this for a holiday party that i'm going to tomorrow night. i was sporting my whole "i just worked out, but not really outfit" during this trip. 
of course while on this target expedition, my mom and i got distracted. she suddenly had an epiphany that she needed non-scented cleaning wipes (they didn't have any bee-tee-dubs). while she was looking for her cleaning wipes, i suddenly became interested in the holiday themed baking stuff which was just an aisle over. while i was mesmerized by the tree shaped cake pan, this guy that worked there came up to me and said "can i help you find anything" to which i responded "oh, no thanks, just browsing"
usually when i say that, the workers say "oh alright" and look happy that they don't have to help me 
but this guy said 
"oh, awesome. browse on" 
but his tone was very "pick-up line-ish" if that makes any sense 
so i responded 
"will do, will do"

i then walked back over to my mom and helped her pick out the most non-scented scented cleaning wipes.

then we finally made it over to the grocery store section of the store but my mom and i got split up again. she started looking at the health food section, and i made my way over to the marshmallow fluff, graham cracker, and hershey's bar section. 
as i was browsing around for the marshmallow fluff, the same dude was back.
he recognized me from behind i guess because while he was walking behind me he said 
"i have to ask, are you a runner" *pick-up line tone*
(remember i'm still wearing my "i just worked out, but not really outfit")
to which i replied 
"oh no, but i wish i was"
then he said 
"oh well, i thought you were because of the outfit" *disappointed voice*
then i said 
"i'm more the walking type"
what was i thinking? i'm wearing the whole getup! i should've lied.
but it doesn't stop there.
i then continued to ask where the marshmallow fluff and chocolate bars were! 

after all this happened i told my mom, who thought it was pretty funny. i then told her that i was totally writing about this on my blog.
y'all i'm an official blogger now! 

"hi, my name is chloe. i don't work out but i like wearing workout clothes. i do like to eat junk food though, ya feel me" 

ok so maybe that whole situation doesn't seem that awkward and i'm just over reacting, but that's what happened to me today.
maybe every time i have an awkward situation i'll blog about it.
i think i'm un-officially staring a new series. 

are you an awkward person?
what's your most awkward situation?

thanks for reading! 


  1. AHAHAHA! You are too funny and adorable. Oh I've got some awkwardness in me...... I would be the awkward one who would have suspiciously backed away if that guy at Target would have talked to me. Haha

  2. I am extremely awkward as well. I don't remember the most awkward time I've had because there have been so many!

  3. AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! If that guy came up to me I seriously would have just given him a look and walked away. Talk about awkward. Awkward seriously is my middle name. Like, if someone ever asked you what are three words that your friends would describe you as I am pretty sure for me they would say awkward, awkward.... and um, awkward.